Creative Voices Part 2

  Where were we?  Oh yeah....  And then....

Well, I went away to a conference.  This conference was filled with creative people who are doing artsy, crafty, things in their lives.  I met a spinner who was wearing a shawl of her own creation (made on a triangle loom if I remember correctly).  Click the link to a place that has triange looms and shows you a bit about them.  I'm intrigued.  Deborah's  friend has alpacas.  And Deborah bakes scrumptious bread which she brought to the conference to share. 

I watched as several musicians came together with their instruments and blended to make one sound.  It amazed me to see them share their knowledge with one another and then all take off playing together - like they had done it for years.

Some people wrote journal entries, some people wrote poems - still others had a chance to share a part of their manuscript for some feedback.

All these people have artistic voices and are blessedly using them.  It was like someone blew across the embers of my heart and stirred them up again.  The desire to write began to rise.

And then - I think a buzzer went off somewhere in my head yesterday at my art class.  I wasn't in the best of moods, and decided to take my supplies and go to a corner in the back.  My last painting attempt had frustrated the hound out of me and I just left it at home.  I took out a blank canvas and determined to do something with which I would have some success.

So - I returned to leaves and flowers.  I sketched a little outline on my canvas and applied the underpainting on with turp and oils.  Hmmmm, I thought - that is going to be one bright painting.  But I doggedly continued.  One lady came in and saw me and brought her things in right next to me.  One by one most of the other painters would be begin to make the rounds of "look - see".  "Oh color!" they all exclaimed. We like to see what's on everyone's canvas.

Now - I am the type of person that likes to keep my picture to myself until I feel comfortable with exposing it.  A trait which came back to haunt me at the above mentioned conference.  One poor lady tried to peer over my shoulder at a journal entry drawing and I left a lasting impression - I'm afraid it wasn't a good one and I later tried to apologize for my less than cordial behavior.

But I think I have a greater understanding today than I did just days ago why I am that way.  I've known for quite awhile that when you paint you often find your heart on the canvas.  I liken it to having to have the guts to go on an American Idol tryout.  You take your voice and put it out there to  potentially be trampled upon.  Or perhaps your worst fear will come true and you will discover that you have no talent whatsoever and your friends have just been overly kind to you.  It's a risky business and frankly -  it doesn't fit with the pysch needs of affirmation, edification, and acceptance.

So - at the end of the day - my instructor takes a gander at my canvas and smiles and nods his head.  He then asks me if I realize I keep coming back to this subject and style.  I look at my canvas and realize I have a painting voice and it is coming through - whether I want it to or not - whether I want it to be something else or not - it is what it is.  My fellow painters have often remarked that we can tell each other's work without seeing a signature - we are distinct individuals - with distinct voices.

My teacher wants me to do try some things different with the paint (thicker - different blending techniques) but then he says he wants me to produce 10-12 paintings all in this style.  He thinks it is time to think about approaching gallery owners.  I am slain.

I'm voiceless.

Comments

[Nellie]

Great!!! Listen to the artistic voice and do what it tells you.

[Sharlene]

It must be very empowering to know "your" style. :) Congrats on finding it. Good luck with the gallery search! It is fun and scary all at the same time. My husband is an artist and like anything else, there are highs and lows, but they can be higher and lower than the highs and lows associated with a regular job, since in a way, your artwork is you.