Being Your Own Hairdresser

All of my friends go to hairdressers/beauty salons.  Trust me - if it were in the budget - I would too.  But it's been a luxury that I really haven't had a problem not worrying about.  Why?  Cause I've cut my own hair for years.

When I taught school I had my hair short and curly.  That meant I had to have it permed and cut pretty regularly.  Well - that was until I got tired of paying for it (and when I quit working had the money) and began doing it myself.  There were some mishaps along the way.  A perm that was too tight - a haircut that made you grateful that hair grows.

And then life threw a couple of more sticks into the hair fire - my hair began thinning and turning gray/silver.  Neither of these new sticks were met with joy.  The thinning solution has escaped me (although I did wonder about extensions) but the solution to the color was easy - dye.  And dye I did/have/will.  For those of you not familiar with the field of dyeing - let me tell you  - it is a jungle out there.  My hair is naturally very dark brown - sounds easy enough.  However, let me tell you there are a myriad of colors out there from which to choose.  I've had some pretty interesting results in the dye arena.  Does raven black mean anything?  And how about when you decided that some auburn might look nice and you end up looking like you are getting ready for a rock concert with red hair?  Yeah - right.

This leads me to my current status - I have some HUGE events coming up this weekend.  Pictures will be taken.  I will see people that I haven't seen in over ten years - it is bad enough that I am twice the person I used to be - my hair doesn't need to look like I'm trying to immitate a skunk!

Last week I bought a package of dye.  Now, one needs a good forty minutes of uninterrupted time to dye one's hair.  Trust me - I know this to be true from experience.  And also I know that I could pick any hour of the day or night to perform this task and I would get interrupted.  It's a given.  But last week I foiled the Dye Gremlins before they got me.  I put bottle number three into bottle number one.  Right.  This is NOT a good thing.  I didn't even hesitate - I just threw it all in the garbage.

Now I entertained going to a hairdresser.  I had visions of going in and asking for one of those fancy shmancy dye jobs where your hair looks tastefully sun-streaked.  In my daydream - I was looking good.  You know - it would be nice to have one of those deliciously obscene hairdos which look like your hair is tossled and in reality you paid and arm and a leg for it to look that way.  One major problem - there is NO time in the schedule for this to happen.  So I marched back to the store and picked up another dye kit.

Which brings us to today.  Jbird still asleep - check.  Hubby off to work - check.  Dog and cat asleep - check.  No one in their right mind will call at this time - check.  Get old towel. Assemble needed materials.  Think of someone wearing as little as possible so that she doesn't get dye on clothing and she don't have to figure out a way to get the tshirt over her head so she can rinse her hair in the shower.  (think real genius at work here) Snap on those plastic gloves and pour bottle number two into bottle number one.  Apply to hair.

And the Dye Gremlins find me.  You know how a professional stylist puts vaseline on your ears, forehead,  and neckline?  Well - there's a reason for that.  And I know this - but did I do it?  No. As I was trying to get cold water on the towel (so I could mop up the black/brown dye off my neck) a drop went near my eye.  Now DON"T picture a blind woman in pain grabbing for towel, knocking bottle, grabbing bottle, tears running down face, and dye cutting a trail to her chest.  I said don't - cause it was NOT a pretty sight - let me tell you.  Body artwork was NOT the objective here. 

Need I say more - I think not.  I see a beauty salon in my future.  Being your own hairdresser ranks up there with plucking eyebrows.

Tree not up - house not cleaned - decorations not up.

 

Comments

[Nellie]

I know you were serious, but that was a funny post. I once had my hairdresser license and let them expire. I have dyed my own hair and now I just go gray/white with an occasional perm. A small solution to the expense of getting periodic 'hair dos' may be saving all of your change. Each time you go out when you come back in remove all of your change from your purse and save it until time for another appointment and you may just have enough to cover that expense.